A recent study of marriages and divorces among 50,000 US women revealed something shocking—God’s design for marriage and sexuality is best! (Okay, that’s not really shocking—to Bible-believing Christians anyway! That’s what we would expect.) What is God’s design? It’s given to us in the very beginning when God created marriage: one man for one woman for life (Genesis 1:27).
Scripture exalts marriage and sexuality as God’s very good design (consider, for example, the book of Song of Solomon).
Scripture exalts marriage and sexuality as God’s very good design (consider, for example, the book of Song of Solomon). Our sexuality is part of God’s design, and it’s a good thing within the confines of marriage (one man and one woman becoming one flesh for life). Because sex is a good gift from God, within the context of marriage, Scripture not only celebrates sexuality but prohibits a wide variety of sexual behaviors that fall outside of God’s design.*
As Christians, we understand that God alone has the right to set the rules because he created us, so the mantra of our culture, “my body, my choice,” is fundamentally flawed. We do not have absolute authority over our bodies (neither does any other person). God cares what we do with our bodies, and we are ultimately accountable for him for what we choose to do with and to them (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).
Back to the study. The title of the article summarizing the results of this study read:
Too Risky to Wed in Your 20s? Not If You Avoid Cohabiting First: Research shows that marrying young without ever having lived together with a partner makes for some of the lowest divorce rates.
The “wisdom” of our day is that couples should wait until they are older to marry and should live together before they decide to wed—after all, the thought goes, you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first, and marriage is a much bigger commitment than buying a car! But, as is always the case, the world’s “wisdom” is foolishness, and the “foolishness” of God is where true wisdom is found (1 Corinthians 3:18–20).
This study found that couples who cohabit (which is really fornication (sin) in God’s eyes) “are less likely to be happily married and more likely to land in divorce court.” In other words, waiting until marriage to live together is better for your relationship than “trying it out” before tying the knot. And that’s not surprising—God’s design is that a man and woman marry and then “leave mother and father” to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:17).
Sadly many professing Christians, particularly in the younger generations, think according to the world’s wisdom and forsake the sexual ethic found in God’s Word. But obedience to God is what is best because, first of all, that’s how we grow in godliness and holiness and how we please our Creator and Savior, but also because God’s design is what is best for us!
Obedience to God is what is best because, first of all, that’s how we grow in godliness and holiness and how we please our Creator and Savior, but also because God’s design is what is best for us!
If you want true wisdom for marriage, look to God’s Word, not the world’s “wisdom.”
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. (Proverbs 3:5–7)
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This item was written with the assistance of AiG’s research team.
* This would include promiscuity, looking with lust, adultery, fornication, bestiality, homosexual behavior, prostitution, and other sexual sins.